“I hate you!” they scream. In their actions, their words, those awful looks they give — they all radiate your teen’s anger. That resentment becomes apart of every interaction, reminding you, my teen hates me.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Even when it feels like there’s nothing left to do, there are still solutions to working with your difficult teen.
Your Teen Doesn’t Hate You and Other Problems You Can Overcome
What you need to remember is that your teen doesn’t actually hate you. They might say it. They might even think they mean it in the moment. That doesn’t mean they do. Chances are there’s more going on than what you’re teens telling you. For most problems the solutions begin with communication.
Understand Your Teen Doesn’t Hate You
Let’s start with the easy one. Every teen says they hate their parents. So don’t worry, your teen doesn’t hate you. The words are awful to hear, but there’s more going on. Your kid is trying to tell you that they need you. They yell and scream and say awful things, because they don’t think you’re hearing what’s really hurting them.
Talk to Your Teen to Find Out What’s Going On
When your kid says they hate youfocus on what caused the angerinstead of where it’s being directed. Remain calm and hear them out. Talk to them about what’s going on. Repeat their frustrations back to them. Make sure they know their being heard.
Guide with Your Newfound Understanding
Assuming you know all of the answers can make your teen more upset. Instead consider how they feel and what they want. Look at the situation from your kid’s perspectives. Recognize where you might be projecting your desires onto your kid. Create space for what they need and guide them through their struggle.
Your Teen in Falling Behind in School
Whether your teen used to be a great student or has always struggled it’s worrisome when they start falling behind in school. High school grades determine college admissions.And no one feels that more than the parent who’s struggling to motivate their teen.
Talk to Everyone Involved — Your Teen, Their Teachers and Guidance Councilors
As mentioned earlier, the solution always begins with communication. Find the root of the problem You can do this by talking to your kids, their teachers and their guidance councilor. Get a complete picture of where they stand.
Are they struggling with the concepts? Or is time management their issue?
Work with Your Teen to Create an Achievable Action Plan
Once you understand why their falling behind the two of you can create an action plantogether. Get your troubled teen in tutoring if need be. Try creating a structured schedule to help them keep track of all of their assignments. The great thing about knowing the problem is it tells you where to look for a solution.
You’re Worried Your Teen is Drinking
It’s scary for so many reasons. Something could happen to them while their intoxicated. They could get behind the wheel while drunk. Or get in a car with a drunk driver. The list of scenarios that will keep you up at night doesn’t end. So the thing to remember is that most teens will try alcoholat some point. While it might be the last thing you want, trying alcohol doesn’t mean there’s a problem.
Don’t Forget to Have the Alcohol Talk
The first step is to have the alcohol talk. It’s similar to having the sex talk. You need to talk to your teen about avoiding alcohol and the importance of safe drinking. Hopefully, this creates a space where they’ll be honest with you. The goal is to work out an agreement that will keep your child safe and you in the loop.
If Things Go to Far Seek Outside Assistance
Sometimes we don’t have the talk in time. If that’s the case there’s still more you can do to prevent or treat alcohol abusein your teen.
Communication is the Beginning to Fixing Any Problem a Parent Faces
Remember whatever is going on with your teen there’s a solution to the problem. It all begins with communicating with them and coming to understand their struggles. If the two of you work together, you’ll figure it out. Even if the answer is seeking outside help.